December 14, 2010

Hello.  Are PEZ really meant for children?  I mean, sure they are kids' characters and sure, the candy is just highly compressed sugar with coloring which puts it into the kid candy category.  But honestly- are kids really operating these contraptions on their own?   
I find it hard to understand how the design hasn't changed for all these years they have been out.  I am not suggesting they are a choking hazard or something.  Who cares about that?  I mean that I have to admit I sometimes seriously struggle putting the candy into the PEZ dispenser.  
These candies have such a precise fit in the plastic track that if even just one turns or falls over- you can't get the rest in.  No, you have to squeeze your finger tip into the track and attempt to stand up or turn the rogue sugar capsule.  This is difficult because the average adult finger doesn't actually fit into the plastic track.  This again, alludes that the device was meant for children.  

After watching my 5 year old struggle to line up and then load the candies into his new "toy" I offered a hand.  10 minutes later (yes 10 minutes)  I ended up waiting until he turned his head to actually EAT and thereby eliminate the last 2 squares that had been frustrating the both of us almost to the point of tears.  Delicious and ridiculous at the same time.  
I then had to help Cambry. 
It is well known in our home that Cambry can be a bit dramatic and sometimes we all wince and brace ourselves as we see her begin to tackle situations where she may become flustered...  I'll admit I have actually hidden from her before.  So the PEZ thing was potentially hazardous for that reason.  
I started by opening (shredding to pieces) the paper wrapper around the candy package.  Can't these just open like gum wrappers or even have the little string that you pull to rip a strip down the side to get it started?  No?  
"If I can just keep them in this straight line..." I think, of course.  Nope.  Can't keep that many candies in a strait line and just simply slip them into the track.  No, you can't do it either.  Trust me.  You think you can, but NO- YOU CAN'T.
By the way;  do the springs need to be so powerful that the thing SNAPS shut if you accidentally let your twisted awkward "keep it open" grip slip on the body?  (A body which, really, has no proportion relation to the character head atop it.  Let's be honest- Santa's body is not anything like a square tube, and it looks stupid with his head stuck up there)
So, finally, I get the little purple treasures all lined up for her, slide up Santa's "body", and hand her the toy with a generous smile.  
Click, click, click.  
"That's it?"  She says.  " There were only 10 candies in here?  Where's my orange pack?..."  

Yes.  That's it.  You load the impossible candies into the frustrating track and "click, click, click", your kid empties it in disappointment.  
They're getting suckers next time.